1 00:00:03,471 --> 00:00:05,039 Cheers is filmed before A live studio audience. 2 00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:06,574 Hey, coach. 3 00:00:06,574 --> 00:00:09,043 Someone just ordered One of your famous Kontikitikis. 4 00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:12,480 No kidding, carla? I haven't made one of those In a long time. 5 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,082 This is going To be great. 6 00:00:14,082 --> 00:00:17,251 Kontikitiki. 7 00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:18,719 * la da da * 8 00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:21,255 I love watching you Make this drink, Coach. 9 00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:25,259 It's like watching Beethoven play His own tunes. 10 00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:28,829 Thank you, carla. Thank you. 11 00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:31,799 * la dee dee dum * 12 00:00:41,509 --> 00:00:43,077 And... 13 00:00:51,119 --> 00:00:53,587 There you go, carla. 14 00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:55,689 Coach, you forgot To blend it. 15 00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:56,890 I'm sorry. 16 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,392 I haven't made one of these Since last summer. 17 00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:01,762 I know. I know. Ok. 18 00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:04,165 Here we go. 19 00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:05,833 * ka wee ka la ka moo * 20 00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:08,769 * la wa la la * 21 00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,718 *making your way In the world today * 22 00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:27,821 * takes everything you've got * 23 00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:30,824 * taking a break From all your worries * 24 00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:33,894 * sure would help a lot * 25 00:01:33,894 --> 00:01:37,465 *wouldn't you like To get away? * 26 00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:42,035 * sometimes You want to go * 27 00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:47,308 * where everybody Knows your name * 28 00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:51,745 * and they're always Glad you came * 29 00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:54,348 * you want to be Where you can see * 30 00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:56,917 * our troubles Are all the same * 31 00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:58,419 * you want to be * 32 00:01:58,419 --> 00:02:02,356 * where everybody Knows your name * 33 00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:04,892 *you want to go Where people know * 34 00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:07,528 * people are all the same * 35 00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:11,832 * you want to go where everybody Knows your name * 36 00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:27,215 Cliff: yeah, well, With the recent strides In genetic engineering, 37 00:02:27,215 --> 00:02:28,316 We'll soon be faced With the possibility 38 00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:29,917 Of producing Enormous farm animals 39 00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:31,485 To feed The hungry millions. 40 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:34,588 Imagine--one cow To feed an entire city, 41 00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:38,992 One egg making An omelet for an entire family. 42 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,695 Yeah, with the advances We're making today, 43 00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,231 The future is limitless, Norm. 44 00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:45,098 So is his mouth. 45 00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:47,034 Doesn't he Ever shut up? 46 00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:48,402 Who? 47 00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:50,671 Gabby, the wonder boob. 48 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:52,973 Is that humorous Appellation 49 00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:54,642 Supposed to refer To me, friend? 50 00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:56,210 Yeah. 51 00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:58,178 You realize your lips Have been flapping 52 00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,713 For over an hour? 53 00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:03,183 Give it a rest, pal, And give us a break. 54 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:06,620 Doesn't seem fair, Does it, norm? 55 00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:07,555 What? 56 00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:08,756 That I should have So much knowledge 57 00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:10,391 When that are people In the world 58 00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:13,294 That have to go to bed Stupid every night. 59 00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:18,732 Watch your step, pal. 60 00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:22,603 Well, I guess I did carve The guy up a little bit 61 00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:25,239 With my rapier Wit, huh? 62 00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:27,475 Better go scrape him Up off the mat. 63 00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:30,210 Hey, listen, friend. 64 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,512 Yeah. 65 00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:33,213 We sort of got off On the wrong foot. 66 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,816 Why don't We just go out, I'll buy you a beer, 67 00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:38,286 And we'll talk it Over like decent Human beings, huh? 68 00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:41,355 No, thanks. I don't like you. 69 00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:51,499 How'd it go, Cliffie? 70 00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:53,601 I don't know, norm, The guy's taken 71 00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:56,770 An inexplicable Personal dislike to me. 72 00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:59,707 Must be deranged. 73 00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:03,977 Sam, have you filled in Your football pool yet? 74 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:06,380 I got to pick up the slips In half an hour. 75 00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:07,915 I'm working on it, Coach. 76 00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,850 I'm almost done With mine, coach. 77 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:10,951 Good girl, Diane. 78 00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:14,588 Yours? 79 00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,390 Why do you even bother To fill one out? 80 00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:19,360 You don't even Like football. 81 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,229 I don't dislike it. 82 00:04:22,229 --> 00:04:23,631 Believe it or not, sam, 83 00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:27,535 I was on the pep squad When I was In high school. 84 00:04:27,535 --> 00:04:29,470 Some of my most Stirring memories 85 00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:32,973 Are cheering for... Whoever it was 86 00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:37,244 To do...Whatever they Were supposed to do 87 00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:40,448 To whomever they were Supposed to do it. 88 00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:45,386 Boy, spirit like that Can really fire a team up, huh? 89 00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:47,220 In the first Contest-- Wait. Whoa. 90 00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:51,191 Hey, diane, you don't Know the first thing About football. 91 00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:52,192 You know that? 92 00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:53,861 Who won the pool Last week? 93 00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:56,163 You never even been To a pro game before. 94 00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:57,297 Who won last week? 95 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,899 You don't watch it On television. 96 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,000 Who won? 97 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,836 All right. You won! You won! You won! You won! 98 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:06,807 Ok? You won. 99 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:10,110 Anybody can win Every once in a while. 100 00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:12,546 Everybody gets lucky. It's the law of averages. 101 00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:13,947 That's all. 102 00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:20,354 Just out of curiosity, When was the last time you-- 103 00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:24,057 1974, but I've come Close a lot of times Since then. 104 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,125 A lot of times. 105 00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:28,796 It was a decade Of upsets. 106 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,602 All right, all right. 107 00:05:34,602 --> 00:05:37,671 You interested In winning consistently? 108 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:41,409 Sit down. Watch and learn, ok? 109 00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:44,845 Oh, my sammy Is putting on His thinking cap. 110 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:49,182 It's a wee, pointy, Little thing with ear flaps, 111 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:52,119 But on you It looks roomy. 112 00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,958 Ok. Right now Of the top Of the page, 113 00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:00,060 You have Bears against The dolphins. 114 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:00,994 Mm-hmm. 115 00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:04,832 Now, we have A home field advantage, 116 00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:06,233 Which means that You got to be-- 117 00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:09,603 Bears. 118 00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:11,672 Bears, just like that? 119 00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:12,773 Well, of course, sam. 120 00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:16,376 A bear against A dolphin? Come on. 121 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,646 That's not even A fair fight. 122 00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:22,115 Now what about Those dallas guys Against atlanta? 123 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:24,485 Ok. All right, All right. 124 00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:26,820 Atlanta, Atlanta, uh... 125 00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,456 What color uniforms Do they wear? 126 00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:30,524 Color? 127 00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:33,326 Yes. The color will Tell you the winner. 128 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:35,963 Red beats blue, Blue beats yellow, 129 00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:37,164 Yellow beats mauve. 130 00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:38,866 Wait a minute, Wait a minute. 131 00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:43,036 You telling me that You're going to pick Atlanta over dallas 132 00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:45,338 Because of the color Of their uniforms? 133 00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:49,009 Dallas who, up until last week, Had won six games in a row? 134 00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:51,812 Who beat them Last week? Washington. 135 00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:54,715 And what color was Washington wearing? 136 00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:56,817 None of your business. 137 00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:01,321 Diane, the laws Of probability Are very complex. 138 00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:03,591 Indeed, indeed. 139 00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:05,659 Normie, professors At heidelberg university 140 00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:07,427 Have recently done studies To try and predict 141 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,597 The reoccurrence Of albino gerbils-- 142 00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:13,801 God, it's time For the mickey mouth Club again. 143 00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:16,937 Buddy, you Don't know anything, 144 00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:20,474 So why don't you shut up Before you prove it? 145 00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:28,181 Cliff... I'm ashamed to know you 146 00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:30,751 If you don't go and Stand up to that guy. 147 00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:33,320 Let it ride, carla, Will you? 148 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,855 What are you, scared? 149 00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:36,590 No, not scared. I just don't want To start a fight 150 00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:38,859 Over a few hasty words, All right? 151 00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:41,595 Look. Come here. Come here. 152 00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:44,865 Look...You won't Have to fight. 153 00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:47,568 You just have to Back him down a notch. 154 00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:50,571 Trust me. I have been In a lot of fights, 155 00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,205 And I've seen A lot of fights, 156 00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:55,743 And believe me, fighting Is the last thing On his mind. 157 00:07:55,743 --> 00:07:57,878 You just call him out. 158 00:07:57,878 --> 00:08:00,614 Stare at him Eyeball to eyeball, 159 00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,315 And watch him crumble. 160 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,252 Yeah, like two fighters. They stare each other down Before the bout. 161 00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:06,754 You got it. 162 00:08:06,754 --> 00:08:09,022 The name of the game Is intimidation. 163 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:11,992 Real men have been Doing it for centuries, 164 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:15,228 And, believe me, It can work for guys Like you, too. 165 00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:20,801 So you think It will work, huh? 166 00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:23,236 I'm positive. That guy is a blowhard. 167 00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:26,406 Hey, you want me To do it for you? Hey, look. 168 00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:28,642 I can do it myself, All right? 169 00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:31,444 Diane: sam, sam, will you Do something about this? 170 00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:33,781 About what? 171 00:08:33,781 --> 00:08:36,049 Carla is provoking cliff 172 00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:41,488 Into a physical Confrontation With that lout. 173 00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:42,890 Cliff, I told you, 174 00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:43,924 I don't want anything More violent In my bar 175 00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:46,293 Than an occasional Love nibble. 176 00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:50,097 That will never work With this guy. 177 00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:55,903 Look, sammy, It's all right. 178 00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:57,337 There's not going to Be any fisticuffs Nearby. 179 00:08:57,337 --> 00:09:00,140 I'm going over To the guy, Stare him down. 180 00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,809 He's going to be the First one to blink. Mark my words. 181 00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:04,344 Wait, man, how-- Hey, no, sam. 182 00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:06,479 It's something I got to do, All right? 183 00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:09,416 The gauntlet has Been thrown down. 184 00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:10,417 Well... 185 00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:12,185 Hey! 186 00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:14,554 Beagle-breath. 187 00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:20,460 You better not Be talking to me, pal. 188 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:23,931 If you don't Like the way I talk, 189 00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:26,266 Maybe there's Something you'd Like to do about it. 190 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,639 I'd be glad to. 191 00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:33,073 Let's go outside. 192 00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:41,381 You got it. 193 00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:43,583 I'll pay my check, And I'll be right Behind you. 194 00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,954 Did he blink And I missed it? 195 00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:52,325 Don't you worry, cliffo. He knows you're not Afraid of him now, 196 00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,727 And he's worried. 197 00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:54,962 Sure. Wouldn't Be surprised 198 00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:56,529 If he turned tail And run by now. 199 00:09:56,529 --> 00:10:00,067 No, norm. He's out there Right now taking off his shirt. 200 00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:03,637 Ooh. Nice upper body Development. 201 00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:06,206 Cliff: well, Just comes a time 202 00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:09,009 When you got to Draw the old line. 203 00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:15,248 Cliff, where Are you going? 204 00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:18,218 Home. 205 00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:21,088 Cliff, you're going Through melville's? 206 00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:23,456 Yeah, sam. I think it's the duty Of every citizen 207 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:26,226 To learn all the emergency Entrances and exits In a public place 208 00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:30,931 In case of an emergency-- Flood, atomic holocaust. 209 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,434 What a chicken. 210 00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:36,636 Yeah, but What a citizen. 211 00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:56,623 Well, how did My sammykins do 212 00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:58,191 In the football pool? 213 00:10:58,191 --> 00:10:59,592 Well, not so great, 214 00:10:59,592 --> 00:11:01,762 But I wasn't The only one. 215 00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:04,164 Oddsmakers took a real Beating yesterday. 216 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,599 Nothing went According to form. 217 00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:08,568 How many did you get? 218 00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:10,738 I don't know. Let's see. 219 00:11:10,738 --> 00:11:13,106 Three, four, Five, six... 220 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:17,177 6 out of 13. That's not bad. 221 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,478 This... 222 00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:20,247 Ok, ok. All right, All right. 223 00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:22,716 Five. 224 00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:23,851 Uh-uh-uh-uh. 225 00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:25,853 Four. All right. Four. 226 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,189 Poor sam. 227 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,091 "Poor sam"? You kidding me? Poor everybody. 228 00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:33,961 No-win day. Upsets Right across the board. 229 00:11:33,961 --> 00:11:36,029 I defy anybody To predict 230 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:39,232 How most of those games Turned out. 231 00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:40,934 How'd you do? 232 00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:45,505 Well, I'm afraid I didn't Do very well either. 233 00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:46,673 Oh, yeah? Ha ha! 234 00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:48,441 I went entirely With cities 235 00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:52,712 Whose symphonies are led By foreign-born conductors. 236 00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,216 You're kidding, Aren't you? 237 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,851 No. 238 00:11:57,851 --> 00:11:59,953 I bet you did great With that system. 239 00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:04,958 Well, not really. I only got 11. 240 00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:10,630 The heck you did. 241 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:13,233 You got 12. 242 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:16,303 12 out of 13. 243 00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:18,205 You're right. I miscounted. 244 00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:19,306 Not only that, 245 00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:21,541 The one you missed, you Missed by a mile here. 246 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,310 Hey, new rule Around here-- 247 00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:25,245 All blonde waitresses Out of the pool. 248 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:28,415 That's it. You don't get to bet On football anymore. 249 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:31,952 Tell you something, You are destroying The sport of football. 250 00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:36,589 Ok. 251 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:37,724 Fine. 252 00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:40,427 If it's So important to you. 253 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:45,765 But this makes it impossible For me to out test my theory On state flowers. 254 00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,347 Hey, everybody. 255 00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:01,581 Hey, cliff. 256 00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:05,018 I'd like you to meet My post office pal here lewis. 257 00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,686 Lewis, that's carla, Sammy, coach. 258 00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:08,055 Hi, lewis. 259 00:13:08,055 --> 00:13:10,390 It's a pleasure To meet you, Lewis. 260 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,659 Can I have a couple Of beers here, coach? Got it. 261 00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:17,330 So what do you got The muscle for, Huh, cliff? 262 00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,798 What are you Talking about, muscle? 263 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,702 Carla, lewis and I Go way back. 264 00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:23,803 Ah, yeah. 265 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:27,007 Enjoy, lewis. Enjoy. 266 00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:28,976 Thanks, chris. 267 00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:30,878 It's cliff. 268 00:13:30,878 --> 00:13:33,346 My pleasure. 269 00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:36,483 Lewis, you look like an athlete. Ever play football or anything? 270 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:40,020 A little bit. Mostly I'm a fighter. 271 00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:43,290 You're... You're a fighter? 272 00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:45,926 You think you know a guy All these years. 273 00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:47,560 He can still Surprise you like that, huh? 274 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:50,030 I didn't know You were a fighter, lewis. 275 00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,798 Well, that's what You asked for In your ad 276 00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:52,933 Up on The bulletin board. 277 00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:56,669 Ha ha ha! 278 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,872 Ha ha ha! 279 00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:00,240 Oh, lewis the kidder. 280 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:03,043 That's what They call him. 281 00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:04,377 Yeah. Hi, it's sam. 282 00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:06,246 I want to put $200 On tonight's game. 283 00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:08,048 Wait, wait, wait. Maybe you can help me out here. 284 00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:10,050 Can you tell me which is The more dominant flower, 285 00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:14,087 The mountain lily Or the black-eyed susan? 286 00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:17,891 How am I supposed To know leslie uggams? 287 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:23,931 Don't get me wrong. 288 00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:27,901 It's not like I think All black people Know each other. 289 00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:33,873 It's just all Good-looking people With lots of warmth-- 290 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,276 Can I have Another beer, coach? 291 00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,618 [rings bell] 292 00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:48,155 Round one! 293 00:14:48,155 --> 00:14:51,558 Cliff: hey, Come on, carla. I'm a man of peace. 294 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:54,694 I'm perfectly Willing to let Bygones be bygones. 295 00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:55,862 But if on the other hand, 296 00:14:55,862 --> 00:14:58,365 Certain of my Loud-mouthed brethren 297 00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:01,601 Was to start trouble, That's their business. 298 00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,470 Scotch. 299 00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:05,973 Norm, did you hear About the studies 300 00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:07,074 Being done Over at johns hopkins 301 00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:09,209 About the "Y" chromosome 302 00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:11,411 Of persistent Bar troublemakers? 303 00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:15,983 They found a striking Similarity between that 304 00:15:15,983 --> 00:15:19,486 And chronic droolers And idiots. 305 00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:22,122 Ok, that's it! 306 00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:24,191 Shut up, friend, And step outside. 307 00:15:24,191 --> 00:15:25,458 And this time, You're going first 308 00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,794 So you can't Give me the slip. 309 00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:29,262 I'd really like to, 310 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,698 But I think that Would be rather rude 311 00:15:31,698 --> 00:15:34,701 To my enormous Friend lewis. 312 00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:46,913 What's the problem? 313 00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:50,050 Wait. I got no quarrel With you, pal. 314 00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:52,519 This guy here is Getting on my nerves. 315 00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,821 Oh, yeah? And what exactly is it about Him that bothers you? 316 00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:56,756 I don't know. 317 00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:58,225 The fact That he comes on 318 00:15:58,225 --> 00:16:00,893 As such an authority On everything. 319 00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:02,562 Hey! It's a free country. 320 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:05,632 I know. I know It's a free country, 321 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,067 But it bugs me. 322 00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:09,802 He's got an opinion On every subject. 323 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,604 He never shuts up. 324 00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:15,542 You know... 325 00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:18,311 He does the same thing Down at the post office. 326 00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:24,917 But nobody ever thinks about Beating him up over it. 327 00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:29,156 Yeah, yeah, I mean, His whole attitude Rubs me the wrong way. 328 00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:31,424 Yeah, I know What you mean. 329 00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:34,194 Them kind of guys Just do it to you. 330 00:16:35,962 --> 00:16:37,297 Who knows why? 331 00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:39,966 Well, actually, Sociologists-- 332 00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:41,701 Shut up, clint! 333 00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:44,003 It's cliff. 334 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,072 Would you like Another beer, lewis? 335 00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:48,141 No. I don't think so. 336 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,477 I think I'm going home. 337 00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:54,581 Uh...Let me Give you a ride. 338 00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:55,882 Oh, no, no. 339 00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:57,016 I don't want My neighbors 340 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,719 Seeing me come home In a studebaker. 341 00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:09,196 Now then... 342 00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:16,169 I believe we were Going to step outside. 343 00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:24,010 All right. 344 00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:25,245 All right. 345 00:17:26,513 --> 00:17:28,381 All right. Look. 346 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:31,318 I'm a black belt In karate. 347 00:17:31,318 --> 00:17:33,086 My hands are Lethal weapons. 348 00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:34,187 Ha ha ha! Karate... 349 00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:36,489 Can you believe This guy? 350 00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:37,624 Tell you what, 351 00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:40,493 I'll give you a chance To get out of here. 352 00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:44,063 I'm going to go In the back and Play a little pool. 353 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:47,066 You can say good-bye To your friends. 354 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,735 But listen... 355 00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,937 If you're still here When I get back, 356 00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:52,105 We're going outside 357 00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:53,840 If I have To drag you there! 358 00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,979 Karate, cliff? 359 00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:03,250 For crying Out loud! God! 360 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:06,653 Diane: What is wrong With that? 361 00:18:06,653 --> 00:18:09,589 I think clifford has shown Excellent judgment. 362 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:10,723 Give me a break! 363 00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:12,792 It's the oldest cop-out In the world. 364 00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:15,728 Every sweetheart Who wants to duck out Of a fight 365 00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:18,465 Says, "I know karate." 366 00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:20,133 Well... 367 00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:22,269 That's where You're wrong, carla. 368 00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:26,939 I've been studying secretly Now for several years. 369 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,508 Yeah, very secretly Considering 370 00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,710 None of us Ever heard a word Out of you about it. 371 00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:34,581 Yeah, and we heard A word out of you About everything. 372 00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:36,616 Well, it's something We don't like to talk about. 373 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,819 You just don't brag About it 374 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:42,655 Because it's Spiritual attainment. 375 00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:46,793 What? What? What? 376 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:49,329 Sam, cliff-- 377 00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:51,731 Very prudently, In my judgment-- 378 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:54,201 Has refrained From taking advantage 379 00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:56,603 Of that combative mesomorph 380 00:18:56,603 --> 00:19:00,873 With his superior knowledge Of karate. 381 00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:04,511 Right. Karate? Cliff? 382 00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:09,682 Et tu, sammy? 383 00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:13,886 Oh, I'm sorry, cliff. Were you serious? 384 00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:15,255 Hey, cliffie. I hate to ask, 385 00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:16,823 But if you Do know karate, 386 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:19,259 Why did you have to Bring lewis In with you? 387 00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:21,594 There's a very good reason For that, coach. 388 00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:24,397 It's to scare off The other guy. 389 00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:26,766 See, it's one Of our major precepts. 390 00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:29,769 We stay out of a fight If humanly possible. 391 00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:30,770 Coach: all right. 392 00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:34,073 Well, I, for one, Believe you, clifford. 393 00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:35,675 And I do, too, Cliffie. 394 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:38,245 And I believe you, Cliff. 395 00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:41,214 I believe you Are a big dink. 396 00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:53,192 Hey, kung fu. 397 00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:58,265 I thought I told you To get lost. 398 00:19:58,265 --> 00:19:59,432 What are you going To do, pal, 399 00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:01,668 Throw all my customers Out of my bar? 400 00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:04,337 Hey, I'm not looking For trouble, sam. 401 00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:05,738 This guy knows I don't like him, 402 00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:08,308 And he's been Pushing me. 403 00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:15,515 If he'll admit that He's a coward and a liar, 404 00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:18,918 I'll walk away and never Bother him anymore. 405 00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:22,989 Aw, come on. What's the point? 406 00:20:24,291 --> 00:20:28,528 Admit it, coward, Or get out of here. 407 00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:06,866 You happy, pal? You proved your point? 408 00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:10,503 Why don't you Get out of here, huh? 409 00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:13,473 Hey, look, I'm sorry, sam. 410 00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:16,876 Guy just brings out The worst in me. 411 00:21:19,746 --> 00:21:22,682 Poor cliff. 412 00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:25,518 Wonder if he'll Ever come back. 413 00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:28,588 I wouldn't If I was him. 414 00:21:28,588 --> 00:21:32,592 Sam, can I Knock off now? 415 00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:34,827 Yeah. I'll catch up With you later. 416 00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:40,900 Sam: Hey, cliff. 417 00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:43,503 If you're planning To hit him with those, 418 00:21:43,503 --> 00:21:45,905 You're too late. He left. 419 00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:48,675 These aren't For him, carla. 420 00:21:48,675 --> 00:21:51,911 These are for you, My so-called friends. 421 00:21:51,911 --> 00:21:54,547 Gee, thanks, cliff. I need a brick. 422 00:21:58,718 --> 00:22:00,487 Cliffie, where did you Get that stuff? 423 00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:02,989 The construction site Next door, normie. 424 00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:04,491 I want to give you A little demonstration 425 00:22:04,491 --> 00:22:05,958 Of what might would've Happened to that guy 426 00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:08,561 If I hadn't kept A lid on my anger. 427 00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:10,763 Sam, what's he doing With his shoe off? 428 00:22:10,763 --> 00:22:13,132 Hey, man, you don't have To do this. 429 00:22:13,132 --> 00:22:16,669 Listen, this is nothing To go fooling around with. 430 00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:19,038 He is not Fooling around. 431 00:22:19,038 --> 00:22:21,040 He's a black belt. 432 00:22:23,042 --> 00:22:24,310 All right. 433 00:22:24,310 --> 00:22:28,381 I'm not going to get A splinter Or anything am I? 434 00:22:28,381 --> 00:22:30,450 Just keep a good grip On that, normie. 435 00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:32,351 Cliff, You're really crazy. 436 00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:33,920 This thing is solid. 437 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:36,288 It's just the way I like them, carla-- 438 00:22:36,288 --> 00:22:37,857 Solid. 439 00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:44,130 Hyah! 440 00:22:44,130 --> 00:22:45,732 Bravo! 441 00:22:50,136 --> 00:22:52,505 Get that sucker Back in here! 442 00:23:05,552 --> 00:23:08,254 Now that I've Proven my point, 443 00:23:08,254 --> 00:23:10,557 Good-bye to you all Forever. 444 00:23:10,557 --> 00:23:12,091 Oh, no! Hey, hey, hey. 445 00:23:12,091 --> 00:23:13,325 Cliff, cliff, cliff. 446 00:23:13,325 --> 00:23:15,995 Come on back in here. Let us set you up. 447 00:23:15,995 --> 00:23:17,730 All right, 448 00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:22,268 But I'd like To have a little word With diane here first. 449 00:23:22,268 --> 00:23:24,604 Oh. All right! All right! 450 00:23:26,939 --> 00:23:31,310 Diane, look, I've never taken A karate lesson in my life. 451 00:23:31,310 --> 00:23:33,480 Would you get me To a hospital quick? 452 00:23:39,452 --> 00:23:40,720 Um... 453 00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:42,622 Good night, everyone. 454 00:23:42,622 --> 00:23:44,323 Cliff is, um... 455 00:23:44,323 --> 00:23:46,325 Is going to walk me To my car 456 00:23:46,325 --> 00:23:48,895 For my protection. 457 00:23:48,895 --> 00:23:50,997 Anybody got A problem with that? 458 00:23:50,997 --> 00:23:52,965 No. No. No.